You
are not your car...
(August
27, 2000)
Really
people, are you all that vain, shallow, and narcissistic?
Here we go kids, repeat after me:
I
am not my car.....
Maybe
if you say it a few hundred times a day you'll get it
through your thick thick skull.
Think
folks. If you're 65 years old, never married, male,
and driving your red convertible corvette down the road
with an unbuttoned Hawaiian shirt you do not become
a 20 year old stud again. Sorry, thanks for trying out.
Allow
me to defer a bit o' respect to my elders and suggest
that you consider buying a more "sensible"
car for your age. (After all "dad",
isn't that what you told me when I was 16 and wanted
a brand new Wrangler or Blazer?) If you are this guy,
get a Jag, no one young drives them and they indicate
your good style, wealth, and whatever else might cause
a 20-something floozy to hop in your car anyway.
And
when your my age, just because you bought a BMW you
are not necessarily "the sh=*" Contrary to
your esteemed belief, your 3-series beamer isn't all
that exciting. Especially since you purchased it in
the same yuppie black that every other idiot our age
did. Get over yourself and remember you don't need to
wear sunglasses when it is dark and you do not need
to leave the convertible top down when it is night and
cold out.
So
a quick recap:
You
are not your car.
Red
sports cars do not make old men young.
Black
luxury cars do not make young men old. (or mature, or
sophisticated, or whatever you were hoping for...)
People
who are more concerned with their car than their own
person are idiots anyway and probably will not take
the time to read this diatribe....
Later....
~A
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