Part Three -- A night in jail
Printed Anonymously by Jonko.com
View page one of this article

EDITOR'S NOTE: Unlike most articles that appear here on the pages of Jonko.com, this piece doesn't involve auto repair. Quite simply, it is a firsthand account of a DUI arrest and subsequent "punishments" meted out by the State of California. Our contributor asked that his name be withheld, and we have obliged. Nevertheless, this story is an accurate account of why you should do everything in your power to avoid getting behind the wheel when you've had a few to drink.

After procceding through the printing and mugshot, I was introduced to my fine taxpayer subsidized accomodations for the evening. I entered a room already 60% full with an assortment of individuals. Some were sleeping, others conversing, and still others who tried to yell at the deputy as she unlocked the door and let me in.

The room was maybe 15' x 20' and was completely block save a 4' x 6' window that allowed officers to see in and us to see out. The room was the same squalid yellow as the rest of the building but it did feature a fine one piece stainless toilet. The freestanding unit offered so little seclusion that anyone who might ever feel a twinge of stage fright could never perform here.

Once I had found a seat on the three feet high cement ledge that ran the interior of the room I took a quick glance about and then closed my eyes hoping to sleep. The ledge was ridiculously hard and cinder block is not soft either, so I was unable to get much in the way of slumber. I also was privvy to the continual banter of a few other individuals who seemed to take joy in yelling out at everyone who tried to sleep by calling them the name of their clothing.

"Hey blue shirt... c'mon blue shirt wake up... what you here for...?"

"Hey red jacket... red jacket... man you snorin' red jacket... wake up...."

And it went on ad infinitum until the guy was later relmoved from the cell.

In addition to screaming guy, I seemed to look quite like a pillow to a smallguy who originally sat next to me. After some time he laid down on the ledge and tried to place his head in my lap to sleep. I pushed him away and told him to scoot down. He did, but returned to try again about 45 minutes later. This process played itself out over and over until I was released the next morning.

After a few hours in the holding cell I was removed and told I could call a family member or relative to come pick me up. I tried my fiancee but her cell phone would not accept a collect call and that's the only kind I could make from jail. I then tried our hotel. Again, no acceptance of a collect call. I pleaded with an officer to allow me to call my fiancee from one of the regular lines, so she could arrange to get me, or to call them herself and let her know how to come for me. I was rebuffed.

I tried the collect phones again. I dialed 0 hoping to use a credit card or to charge the call to my home phone. They could not accept cards and I couldn't charge it home without someone there to ok the charge. (We were both here I tried to explain to no avail...)

I couldn't reach anyone that could be of help. I didn't want to call my parents or hers, as I was not sure what she had told them and I had no desire to listen to ask them to track her down and then call the sheriff, and on and on...

I talked to a deputy about getting a cab back to my hotel. I was told I couldn't be released on my own until after at least 6 hours had passed with me in the cell to insure "I was sober." I suggested we could use the machine again as I was sure I fell below the state's .08 by now and could easily manage the difficulties of sitting in a taxicab. Nevertheless, I was placed back in the cell and told I would be released at 6:45 AM.

As 6:45 AM rolled around I was incredibly anxious to go. An officer cam in for a different inmate. I asked if I could go soon. She told me to be patient or they might hold me until the new shift ends at noon.

I couldn't believe that... I just wanted to go home and hold my baby and sleep in a bed. I had had the most horrific night and this officer was insinuating they she could arbitrarily hold me for a few more hours if I wasn't quite and demure.

I sat patiently waiting and at a few minutes past seven the same deputy cam and removed me from the cell. I sat outside on a bench as I waited for someone to finalize my paperwork. At about 7:15AM I was released with everything I cam in with. Which amounted to absolutely nothing.

I asked an officer how far it was back to our hotel and was told it would be about 40 minutes.

"Driving or walking...???"

"Driving," he responded.

I walked out of the jail and to an adjacent building where they had what I assumed to be "normal phones." For some reason, I could not use my ATT card and I was not able to connect to my fiancee's cell or the hotel through the service available.

I left the building dejected, assuming I would just begin walking and once I saw a cab I would flag him down for a ride back. I had no money to pay at this point, but hopefully when I got their I could get my wallet and end this horrible evening.

About two blocks from the hotel I flagged down a cab. We began the long drive back to the hotel.

Continue to page four -- Attornies, Cash, and Life